Remember when the word "fantasy" conjured up images that you did not share with a lot of people? It was something talked about with only the closest of people to you and fulfilling them was usual impossible, immoral and illegal.
Now the word "fantasy" can conjure up a different image -- Football.
No, I am not talking about your co-workers Troy Aikman fantasy that is off the field. These new images are about performance on the field. Fantasy football has grown from some really, really, bored dudes in someone's basement playing an all-night game of "what if" to a huge enterprise involving millions of people all over the world. You have leagues that play for prizes, some for just bragging rights and most for money. There are leagues with $100, $200, $500 and even $10,000 first prize winnings. Football preview magazines used to have about a 10-page section, maybe, of stats that could be used for a fantasy league. Now there are entire magazines devoted entirely to your success in that office fantasy competition. That last bastion of testosterone-laced splendor, the sports bar, has been forever altered as well.
It used to be like this: "C'mon Dallas, kick Washington's ass!" Now it is like this: "Ok Patrick Ramsey needs to throw three touchdown passes but only one to Laveranues Coles and it would be ok too if he runs one in and then if Dallas defense can pick off at least one pass and Terry Glenn has two touchdowns, well Joey Galloway can have a TD but it needs to be a short one because one of my leagues is a yardage league and oh, by the way did Peerless Price just score for Atlanta?"
Take for example, opening weekend in the NFL. I was at my usual place where I can be found on NFL Sundays, Hooters on Wurzbach. Dallas did not play until three but as per tradition I was there at 11 am. During the first set of games, I noticed many people in different team gear. Viking fans here, Packer fans there, Miami, Houston, Kansas City etc. It was amusing to see the couple that was watching two different TV's because of the fantasy leagues they were both in. Yes, fantasy football is not a boys club anymore. She was in a David Carr jersey, he in an Edgerrin James. I guess the kid will be somewhere in between … St. Louis possibly. They were most interested in the impending upset by GrandeDavid's Texans over the Dolphins. She excused herself from the table, possibly to powder her nose although in Hooters, more likely to wipe off the wing sauce, and she asked her man to keep tabs on the game. She comes back and he is cheering. She smiles thinking Houston pulled ahead but before she could say anything he proudly says ... "Randy Moss scored, 6 more points for me!!!" Well the cool breeze that was then felt was nice on that humid day and luckily for that gentleman, messers Carr and his team pulled out that game in Miami or else I imagine it would have been a long car ride home.
Fantasy madness is not limited to football alone. Basketball and baseball have followed suit and are right behind the pigskin in popularity. Apparently you can do Fantasy Hockey as well. Just pick the players with the hardest names to pronounce and victory is yours. Hey this theory has been proven, Archie Damon, my best friend and best man in my upcoming nuptials did this and he won his very first and, sadly not last, fantasy hockey league. While fantasy football has been around since the 1960's, fantasy baseball has even deeper roots in the old strat-o-matic games card games of our fathers.
Apparently, no sport is immune to the touch of the fantasy gods. You can compete in college football, golf, and tennis, the WNBA, NASCAR and, yes, even fishing. Fantasy fishing, eh? Hasn't that been done for years? You know ... the one that got away? What do you do in fantasy fishing? What are the categories? I guess who catches the most fish is the obvious one but what else? How far you can cast? Fly fishing or Bass? How long can you stay in the water before losing all feeling in your legs? How many beers can you pound during the competition? And after those beers can you Ok, I can see college football, that would be easy, just make sure you are playing a Mack Brown defense and luck is with you. WNBA? Well ok. The stats are the same as the NBA but do enough people watch the games to keep track of those stats? Golf? Ok, Tiger and everyone else. Do you start with an automatic two-stroke penalty if you pick Tiger to try and make it even? And do you risk taking Phil Mickelson on the hope that he will do well enough in the non-majors to get you through the season? What about tennis? I guess if it's the ladies, grab a Williams sister, for the men, no American players not named Agassi or Roddick.
Which leaves NASCAR. Yes friends, you and your fellow racing rowdies can get together and trade paint in cyberspace. Just pick your driver and downshift into countless hours of grease-covered fun. Are you a Kevin Harvick fan? Mark Martin? How about Ryan Newman? For you ladies, is it Dale Jr. that boils your radiator over? Are you a diehard that believes Jeff Gordon is the Devil because he was born above the Mason-Dixon line? Then there is the whole: "Tony Stewart, dirty driver or gritty competitor?" What kind of statistics do you compare in Fantasy NASCAR? Who makes the most left turns? Who causes the most post-race Pit fights? How about bonus points for how many sponsor sticker your driver can slap on his car and then attempt to mention every one in the post-race interview? " We had a good day, the #69 Goody's headache powder/Skeeter's Waffle House and Bait Shop Kia ran well and we fought off some tough sonsaguns out there in Bobby, Buddy, Billy, Bubba, and Dale Jr." You can just hear the point totals skyrocket!
Fantasy sports have changed how we spend our off hours. The majority of us will never reach the skill of professional athletes no matter how hard we may work at it. This is our way to show what we can do if we were in charge. Fantasy sports can be a lot of fun if kept in the proper perspective. I know several people who run teams in two different fantasy football leagues at the same time, I even know some who run in three! Three fantasy football leagues at one time! What is that ... who would take the times to go through drafts, research and stats to build three different teams and run them all at the same time in different leagues? Who would do such a thing?
Oh and did I mention I was 3-0 last week?
